Target of a Workplace Bully

I was threatened by witchcraft, and more.

This isn’t easy to admit, largely because in retrospect it seems so ridiculous, but I was once the target of an office bully. It became so bad that I left a high-paying job where I was being groomed for an impressive promotion. HR did not intervene on my behalf, even after this person’s behavior escalated to threats.

A lot of things could have gone differently. If I’d had a boss and HR department willing to intercede, they would not have lost a valuable employee, making themselves vulnerable to a harassment lawsuit. In a litigation-happy society, ignoring complaints of bullying are a danger to the company.

That aside, I can’t help but wonder if I should have handled it differently myself. I tried too hard to smooth things over and get along with the bully, rather than becoming assertive and putting my foot down. I’d become a target by being overly helpful, to the point where she felt as if she could control me, pawn off her workload, and intimidate me to get her way. In the interest of office peace-keeping I brushed it off and let it go on for far too long than I was comfortable with; particularly since I am not the type to shy away from confrontation or a good “Oh no, you didn’t” when necessary. As a result, when I started saying “no” she became infuriated, and the threats began. I had changed the rules of the game on her, and she wasn’t having it.

To be honest, I think that HR may have brushed aside my complaints because the nature of the threats were so ridiculous. The woman was Wiccan, and was threatening me with witchcraft. Which, even at the time, was rather hilarious. But the intent behind it was the same--if someone actually thinks they can cause someone harm with spells, then a threat is a threat.

She also told me, in so many words, that she lived in a neighborhood with a lot of “section 8” neighbors, who were willing to do anything to anyone who was “against her.” Again, it was so outlandish that I laughed at the time, which is why I didn’t take it seriously when I should have. Yet she brought this up one too many times when I refused yet again to take responsibility for her workload, and I realized that perhaps I should start to worry.

Many targets in the workplace don’t come forward, as I didn’t, because it seems so childish, ridiculous, silly, and immature. But the results are real; I was so stressed at the prospect of going to work and dealing with her that I was losing sleep, becoming anxious and depressed, and began hating a job that I’d previously enjoyed.

I eventually quit, along with 10 other people in our 25 person department who couldn’t stand the new regime when this woman was hired. This was over four years ago, and last I heard the bully was still working there, and the turnover rate in her department is at an all-time high.

Hmm, maybe they should have read my article on Office Bullies. Or maybe you should! Follow the link, and enjoy.