What do I do when the office bible-thumper won't leave me alone?
My coworker keeps trying to convert me! I'm tired of her preaching, and I almost wish it were the end of the world. Damn. If I curse enough, will she evaporate? What do I do?
Here’s an idea: pretend you’ve converted and start quoting scripture at her every time she breaks a biblical rule. It’ll be pretty easy since the bible doesn’t even want us to wear mixed fibers. The next time she shows up to work wearing both cotton and wool, remind her with much pity that she’s going to hell.
Option two: construct a Tower of Babel outside your cubicle. Every time she comes by to talk religion, exclaim loudly “I can’t understand you!”
Or? Invent a religion. Try to convert her. Explain that you don’t believe in hell, but those who disobey your personal Ten Commandments (including: rub my feet) are condemned to an extended stay at Michael Jackson’s Neverland Ranch.
Honestly, though, if you’ve told her in no uncertain terms that you’re not interested in her conversion attempts, the next step is to discuss it with management. This is disrupting your work and isn’t relevant to your job. In some situations, being too aggressive in attempt for religious conversion can be considered harassment. Ask your boss to sit down with the two of you and hash it out.
Do this as a last resort, but it beats hoping she’ll turn into a pillar of salt.
