The Mouth Trap: Book Review

Strategies, Tips, and Secrets for Effective Communication

Sep 14, 2008 Joe Lam

In The Mouth Trap, corporate trainer Dr. Gary Seigel reveals the tips and strategies to help people say what they want to say without getting into trouble. Learn to tap into your unique personality traits and become who you need to be so that you create rapport, earn promotions, and become a communication superstar.

Setting a Positive Mindset

Seigel talks about how we can set ourselves up for failure or success by switching our thought patterns. He demonstrates that with a simple turn of a phrase, a person preparing for a job interview can express the following types of thoughts:

• Negative: “I don’t have a chance. Those others are so much better than me. Get outta here!"

• Positive: "I have as good a chance as anyone. I’m great, awesome, unbelievable. I can’t wait to prove myself.”

Though it seems simple enough to choose the latter, Seigel states that people are better at talking themselves out of a something rather than into something we really want. But becoming aware of this simple switch in our thinking will help us make better decisions.

Living in the Moment

This is described as paying attention to the decisions we are about to make before speaking, telling a joke, or responding to an interview question. The best method is to be mindful of the moment by processing what people have said and taking the time to respond. If people function out of desperation and fear, they will undoubtedly say the wrong thing and regret it afterwards.

Achieve Clarity

Seigel states two simple tips to help gain a clear mind if a person is in a situation that causes stress, frustration, or anger.

• Clarity Tip #1: Take a break, clear your head, and visualize the outcome. A person must imagine themselves obtaining their goals without any opposition.

• Clarity Tip #2: Take a breather before speaking too soon. Leave the situation and enter a place alone to take some deep breaths to clear your emotions.

Effective Conversation

Seigel relates a story where he met a geophysicist who used technical terms understood by those only in his field, which was unrelatable to most people outside of the that specific field, including Seigel. If the mind cannot understand and process technical language that it’s given, the mind will discard it and thoughts will move elsewhere. Siegel offers simple guidelines to engage listeners in conversations.

• Keep it simple
• Start with an interesting hook
• Convey only the most important points
• Translate technical terms into relatable words
• Tell it in a compelling & memorable way

Body Language

Seigel says that many times people aren’t conscious of the body betraying their thoughts. The way a person crosses their arms could be perceived as arrogant. Scratching of the head due to dandruff can give the look of confusion to others. Tapping of a pen may be perceived as nervousness when in fact it’s a habit. To avoid sending the wrong signals, Seigel offers an acronym called SOFTEN to help control one’s body language.

Smile: Smile whenever greeting a person.

Open: Have an open stance during conversations with unfolded arms.

Frontal Lean: Leaning towards a person shows interest in engaging with them.

Touch: Touching a person’s elbow or shoulder helps grab attention during the conversation.

Eye Contact: Helps build a strong rapport between people.

Nod: Indicates listening and encourages other person to give more information.

Publication

Seigel, Gary The Mouth Trap [Career Press, 2008]

213 pages, $14.99

ISBN-13: 978-1-56414-995-4

Gary Seigel, PhD is president of Fly High Productions, a motivational speaker, performance coach, and consultant. He inspires audiences across the country to write & speak with tact and finesse. His clients include Chevron, Symantec Corp., Farmer’s Insurance, Coldwell Banker, and the United States Navy & Marines. To learn more, visit: The Mouth Trap Website.