The 9-5 Marriage in the Corporate Environment
How Offices are Breeding a New Type of Relationship
Sep 1, 2008
The workplace is becoming more than just a place where people work, come in at 9 am and leave at 5 pm. It’s easy to notice different working relationships in the office. One of these increasingly prevalent relationships is the ‘9-to-5 marriage’.
A Union of Mutual Interest and Support
This relationship occurs when two people work so closely together that they know each other inside out, almost as if they were a couple. This close working relationship can be viewed in every industry, but the office environment is possibly the most common place for it to develop.
With a 9-to-5 marriage, a ‘couple’ can get support from each other without the hassle of a romantic entanglement. After all, with the amount of time spent at work, it’s not unusual to become close to colleagues.
Let’s take an example: Paul comes into work in a cheerful mood, to see Jane brewing coffee ready to pour herself a cup and also one for Paul, her work ‘spouse’. She knows exactly how he drinks his coffee; white with one sugar in the morning, and black with two sugars in the afternoon.
This camaraderie does not necessarily last for long. Soon the bickering, even nagging, starts: “Paul, you didn’t fill this part of the form in,” and: “Paul, you haven’t told me about this needing to be added,” and so on. Quite often Paul responds with a sarcastic comment. He knows what buttons to press to wind Jane up, as if they were actually married.
This kind of relationship can often put a strain on the colleagues’ actual marriage. Paul might find himself frequently mentioning Jane to his wife, making her feel as if there are three people in the relationship.
How the Corporate Marriage Evolves
The 9-to-5 marriage is based very much on trust. Colleagues get to know each other so well that they can answer almost any personal question about their work spouse, if asked. This working marriage does have a strong plus side. People can discuss matters with their work spouse, and have a good idea of what each other is talking about. It’s easier to talk about colleagues, as each understands exactly what is being expressed. The couple act as a sounding board for the stresses and strains of the workplace.
If someone is in a relationship beyond the office, they can use their office ‘spouse’ to air problems or issues affecting work life, leaving them ready to return home with a lighter attitude. This will stop them from taking work grievances out on real partners.
Pitfalls of the 9-5 Marriage Include:
- Becoming cloistered in the relationship, to the extent that other colleagues feel excluded
- Generating office gossip if the work ‘spouse’ happens to be of the opposite sex
- Alienating the real partner, by making them feel that the office relationship is more highly valued than the one shared at home
- Leaving the couple feeling suffocated within the confines of the relationship, preventing them from making new contacts or thinking differently
- Preventing the manager from feeling that they can promote half of the couple independently, as they always appear to come as a pair.
However, for all the pitfalls, having a close and trusted colleague to act as an office ‘spouse’ will reduce stress, create a dynamic working environment, and provide support at times of high pressure and anxiety.
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