Your computer freezes and starts making a strange whirring noise. You ask around for advice, but soon it's inevitable-you have to contact tech support. As soon as you do they're firing off questions in jargon you don't understand, and rolling their eyes so vehemently you can see it through the phone.
With the help of my exceptionally patient husband Paul, the head of customer support for a software company, I've compiled a list of tactics to make your encounter with tech go smoothly.
1. Assume the problem is you. This is what they're doing anyway. Even if you're 120% certain you aren't the problem, listen to your support-person's suggestions and do follow direction without argument. It may turn out you were using your mouse upside-down after all.
2. Brush up your tech-talk. Typical conversation between exceptionally-patient-tech-support-husband and me: "You need to unplug the router." "You mean that blue thing?" Even these days, people don't know what "double-click" means. If a techie buzz-talks you with a phrase you don't recognize, ask questions. It will help in the future when the router (aka "blue thing") acts up again. And asking will demonstrate to your support-person that though you don't know where the ANY key is, you are willing to learn.
3. Move. Nick Burns, Your Company's Computer Guy, was right. Just get out of the way and let him do it. Not everyone is as nice as my exceptionally-patient-tech-support-husband. If he's rude or makes fun of you, tack a KICK ME post-it to his back and you'll feel better.
4. Give Candy. Because everyone likes candy.
Problem solved! Have more workplace issues? Check out the rest of my articles, including
finding the right candidate for the job,
what to do when the customer isn't right,
and
how to get that annoying co-worker to shut up.
