Customer-centric mission statements are standard these days, wherein 100% satisfaction is guaranteed and the customer is ALWAYS right. But that operates under the assumption that each customer is reasonable. We all know that isn't always the case.
Take, for example, Mr. X. He walks into the busiest restaurant in Waikiki and demands a table for 25. The wait will be about an hour. But Mr. X wants his table right now. And he throws a fit in that respect.
Clearly, Mr. X is childish and irrational. The temptation is to tell him not to let the door hit his ass on his way out. But this restaurant is committed to 100% guest satisfaction. This means the employees are required, under threat of termination, to find some way to make this man happy.
More and more, customers are exploiting this policy to make ridiculous demands and domineer over employees desperate to keep their jobs. And the "corporate office" isn't listening. In the office, miles away from angry customers, they're compiling numbers, not looking at how realistic it is to give a free meal to a man who complains that it took more than three minutes.
Unfortunately, many customer-service-related employees are put in this position every day. They can't give the customers what they want, ("You want the salmon that we're out of? I'll just go hop in a river and catch one in my mouth."), yet they're disciplined for not being able to perform magic tricks. (*POOF* "Here's your table for 25! Let me just clear this smoke.")
It stretches beyond irrational to physically impossible. After Mr. X waited thirty minutes, I led him to two tables kitty-corner to each other. He was still unhappy-he wanted two tables in a row, and asked me to move a nice couple happily eating their meal.
Seriously.
Of course I couldn't do that. But when I informed the man I wasn't giving him someone else's table, he narrowed his eyes and asked for the manager. "The customer is always right," he said. I rolled my eyes and gave up. Then I informed the manager, who mumbled, "Oh great. Now I'll have to give them a bunch of free stuff."
No doubt this man will one day return to the restaurant. And I ask you, business owners, is that the type of man from whom you want repeat business?
I think not.
